SCOTUS Suggests the Wire Hanger

Once more, the US comes down with political hiccups, as Roe v. Wade is threatened by the US Supreme Court. According to leaked documents, it turns out SCOTUS, as it’s more commonly referred as because these American acronyms are fucking adorable, has been discussing the overturn of the landmark ruling on abortion rights from back in 1973.

Bottom line is; SCOTUS wants to remove the constitutional right for women to have abortions. Or, more precisely, they want to rescind their previous interpretation that the US Constitution protects a woman’s right to chose. Which, essentially, would give states and the federal government free reign on how to legislate for or against abortions.

Which will not end well for a lot of women in the US. Because as it stands US federal, state, and local lawmakers are a bunch of tossers.

Even SCOTUS itself seems to realise that overturning Roe v. Wade is unconscionable, because the very moment the leak leaked like leaks do, they tried to swivel the conversation toward how “absolutely appalling” the act of leaking government documents are. Yup, you read that right. SCOTUS thinks that showing how the government works in the dark is more deplorable than the government’s work of indenturing women to be brood mares. Transparency is worse than tyranny. That’s the dystopian conversational climate that hovers over the “land of the free and home of the brave” in this our sordid place in history.

It is always a mixed pleasure to witness this sort of US spin doctoring when you look at it from the outside. It keeps happening, it never disappoints, it entrenches the notion that the US is a third rate country, a prototype gone haywire, it never stops, and it just keeps smashing through rock bottom to find a new low. Every damned time. It’s an art, really. Just when you think that the US political discourse can’t get worse, it just… keeps… digging.

Abortion rights are just about universal in the northern hemisphere. It is a right taken for granted, much like that child labour or war crimes are bad. But despite the fact that the abortion debate has been raised and long since settled, the US lets a western Taliban movement drag them down into the absolute muck like a political miscarriage. This is not a question about being pro-life. Carlin absolutely destroyed that argument decades ago. It is not a matter of empowering women or protecting women’s health either (argument destructions supplied by John Oliver). The only humans that even come close to being pro-life are Jainists, and those motherfuckers are too busy sweeping walkways so they don’t accidentally step on an ant to get ontop of soap boxes to propose that abortions are punished with the death penalty. And yet… here we are. Again.

What are we supposed to do with you, America? You’re like a child at a wedding who throws a tizzy fit if you can’t sit at the grown-ups table, and dissects frogs while the main course is being served. You’re an embarrassment. Worse yet, you’re a dangerous embarrassment. Because believe it or not, there’s spillage. Just look at our Mays and Borises, our Le Pens and Busches, who I bet would not be half as bad without your influence.

What do then? Protest? Revolt? Whatever progressive political action (which is never very progressive if measured internationally) that gains traction in the US only seems to galvanize the American Taliban even more. So what’s the option? Abandon ship? Let the madness consume itself, and start anew? Quarantine it in a padded cell? Easy suggestions coming from someone who lives beyond US shores and just don’t want the red, white, and blue insanity to spread and drag me down with it. But whatever cancer has grown endemic within the “greatest country in the world”, it needs to be dealt with. Preferably from within.

Abortion rights is not a debate you should be having, people of the United States of America. Whether or not to allow abortions is a solved question in the “free world”, which you ostensibly are leading (into a brick wall). The real question is how you can turn the tide, stop glorifying fear and ignorance, and stop coming back to these regressive questions time and time again. How to stop going backwards. Absolutely; put out this fucking fire, post-haste. But once you’re done, grow up. Evolve. Get better. And do it yourself, because the gods help us if anyone has to do it for you.

/Sebastian Lindberg 10/5-2022

The Democratic Pied Piper

I fucking called it! I did! I fucking did! I don’t know if it’s documented somewhere in my slew of columns over the years, I hope it is, but I called it! Woot!

This week, a leak oozed out of WikiLeaks that, if true, would validate a few theories on how the hell Donald Trump came to power. It was an e-mail, sent around the Hillary Clinton campaign, which detailed tactics on how to destabilize the Republican presidential race of 2015. One such tactic consisted of promoting and pushing along extreme Republican candidates for the purpose of pushing “reasonable” Republicans towards the fringe, and alienate the Republican party from the US population. Three examples were given in the memo; Ben Carson was one. The Cancun-cunt Ted Cruz another. And last, but certainly not least, the name Donald J. Trump is documented. Clear as day.

And I called it! Hah!

From the start of the 2015 presidential campaign, I’ve said that Trump has to be a ringer. The notion to put him, the blathering buffoon that he is, in the spot-light, could not have been a serious suggestion. No one should have been able to predict that the US public would be stupid enough to elect a racist, misogynist, clinically diagnosed idiot, into the White House. They did, but that’s beside the point. The point is that no one could have believed it.

What plenty of people could believe, did believe, and now post-script; can observe, is that Trump really did shake the Republican party off its axis. And without the benefit of hind-sight, imagining that we’re back in 2015, who would you think would have benefited from such an upheaval? Naturally: The Democratic party.

I mean, all the signs were there. The fact that Trump previously had more connections to Democrats than he had to Republicans. Considering that the Clintons and the Trumps were buddies for years. Just look at how glum the Orange Hydra looked as he was inaugurated. Though to be fair, Trump only really ever looked happy when he was psyching himself out in a room full of Trump-cultists or when he was oogling girls with the elite pimp Epstein.

Let’s wind the clock forward five years. Trump’s presidency is finally over. The Republican party has devolved into a personality cult of Trump. The Orange Hydra himself has gone insane. And the Democrats, although they didn’t manage to put Hillary on the throne despite their best efforts, managed to get another warhawk imperialist bully seem like a “moderate” choice to the US public. Bully-Biden seems like a relief next to Trump (anyone would have), and the DNC can play the saints when really they’re just going back to the dysfunctional status quo.

These five years later, the real winners are none other than the Democratic Party and their corporate sponsors. Maybe not in the way they wanted to, and maybe a victory over a simmering civil war tastes sour to them, still; they ended up on top. And that’s what politics is all about, right? Never mind that the “pied piper”-stratagem didn’t work quite as they had intended it to. Never mind the utter chaos that was sowed. All because there were too many degenerates in a degenerated country that thought that grabbing someone by the pussy was a revolt against political correctness rather than assault.

So how did he become president then, if it was just a show to fuck up the Republican presidential gambit? If he was really a ringer from the Democrats, or at least promoted by the Democrats as the email details, wouldn’t they have just been able to pull the plug when it got close to the finish line?

Well, not necessarily…

Just like Cracked Magazine envisioned, haven’t you ever pranked a friend, and the joke just ran away from you? I do not think anyone in Washington or Wall Street could imagine just how dumb they’ve made their population. I do not think anyone had expected the magnitude of the divide that Trump’s antics would cause. And as soon as shit gets real, it becomes very hard to just pull out. Imagine how angry all those racists and bigots and misogynists and white supremacists would have gotten if someone had broken the campaign off and told them “it’s just a prank, bruh!”.

/Sebastian Lindberg 23/3-2021