All Rise to the Pied Piper

Let’s get this absolutely straight:

If you spend your Ostara holiday by burning cop cars, chasing firetrucks, hacking up cobblestones, setting fire to schools, and hunting police officers, you’re not doing so because some hateful numbnut wants to burn a book you like. You do it because you’re a belligerent insurrectionist with no interest in partaking in society.

Over the course of last week, hoodlums, criminals, secessionists, fanatics, zealots, and unhinged children put five Swedish communities to the torch. They hunted public services, burnt public and private property, caused mayhem and destruction like packs of rapid dogs. And yes; I know being called a dog is a sensitive insult within the Muslim cultural context. But if these dogs do not want to be referred to as such, they shouldn’t act like it.

Why though? Why would the criminal juvenile element come crawling out the woodwork right now? Well, because they were lured out. They came like rats to the Pied Piper’s calling. The Pied Piper, in this instance, performed by the Danish right-wing politician Rasmus Paludan, of the Danish political party Stram Kurs. This racist, nationalist, and islamophobe, decided to spend his Easter holiday touring Sweden to put on xenophobic demonstrations where he burnt the Quran. Why do such a thing you might ask? To make himself a nuisance. To stir shit. To make people angry. To prove his thesis that Muslims are violent and disregard the social codex and law of their western countries. To stoke the flames of division. Which he managed expertly here in Sweden these past days.

Before we get into my main point, there’s a long list of disclaimers I’ll have to go through. I’ll… try to be brief, if you permit me the courtesy of just an inch of good faith. Okay? Okay…

#1: Paludan is a racist prick.

#2: According to Swedish law, and liberal humanism, anyone has the right to believe and think what they want. You’re allowed to be liberal. You’re allowed to be conservative. You’re allowed to be religious. You’re even allowed to be a racist prick. That’s exactly how the Swedish general public wants society to function. It’s in the Swedish constitution. If you don’t like it; go somewhere else where things are different. Or, alternatively, try to debate for changing the constitution like what you do in a democracy.

#3: Anyone has the inalienable right to do with as they please with their private property (with the possible exception of littering). If I want to burn a book of mine, I can damned well do so, regardless of what book that is. If I, or anyone, decide to be a racist prick and burn a (to some considered) holy text, there’s not a Gods damned thing anyone has the legal right to do about it. Not in Sweden. Not in a liberal country. I can warm my house by the fire of Bibles, Qurans, Talmuds, and whatever the fuck else I please. You’re allowed to think I’m a prick for doing so. You’re not allowed to stop me or physically punish me.

#4: If you rise to the bait of the likes of Paludan, you’re a gullible idiot. A moron. An absolute fucking melon. Because your ire and violence is exactly what he wants to provoke. You, who go out with your torches and pitchforks, are playing into his hand.

#5: The burning of a book cannot possibly be dangerous to your personal beliefs. No Christian becomes less so if I burnt a Bible. No Muslim is less of a Muslim because I burnt a Quran. Your beliefs are your own. Personal. Subjective. And if your faith is so fragile that it’s damaged because a bundle of papers and verses are burnt, then your faith is weak.

#6: Just because something is sacred to you doesn’t mean it has to be sacred to anyone else. This isn’t the medieval ages. Grow up. Sanctity is personal. A product of the printing industry doesn’t need protection from you.

#7: You do not have the right to project whatever’s sacred to you onto anyone else. Not in Sweden. If you think differently, debate it in parliament. This is not a Caliphate.

#8: Hate speech is illegal according to Swedish law. What exactly constitutes hate speech we’re not collectively sure on yet.

#9: Being a prick, and a racist one at that, deserves derision. In my opinion. Acting like a mob of rabid dogs also deserves derision. In my opinion.

#10: If you protest the burning of a, to you, sacred symbol by destroying the society around you, you make yourself a fundamental problem to that society. Something broken and damaged to be fixed or removed. You’re not a holy warrior. You’re a blood-drunk ravager and marauder.

All of that needed to be said, because all of that has been argued and asked about. And I would very much like whatever comes next to be capable of moving past these points that hopefully detail both the legalities of the Swedish constitution and my own personal opinion on this whole sordid chapter.

Which brings me to the matter at hand; namely, what constitutes hostile political manipulation from a foreign country.

See, Paludan’s political movement is a nationalistic, islamophobic, far-right party from Denmark. The man himself has dual citizenships with both Denmark and Sweden, which muddies the waters a bit. But his party has no direct ambitions on Sweden. None. When he comes to Swedish shores and burns books and incites mayhem, he does that not as a Swedish citizen but a Danish politician. He does this in cities and areas where he knows he will be seen and heard by a particular Swedish demographic where he wants his intended effect. In Norrköping, Linköping, Örebro, Rinkeby, and Malmö he peddled his message, and his intention is to send angry young Muslims into conflict with the public. His wish is for Muslims to leave, primarily Denmark, but the western world at large. He wants to exhibit Muslim rage. Show an immigrant population at its worst.

Police vehicles were stolen, joy-ridden, wrecked, and burnt. Homes were destroyed. A gaggle of ill-raised children set a gods damned public bus on fire, while there were people in it. Cops were injured in a hail of stones thrown by delinquents who have given up on being productive members of society, and decided instead on being a danger to it. Three rioters were subsequently shot on Sunday when they cornered police officers with the intent to cause the officers harm.

Context: This is an election year in Sweden. In five months time the Swedish public will select their representatives in parliament. The national socialist Swedish Democrats were expected to, for the first time in over a decade, maybe loose some of their seats in parliament. The islamocentric party Nuance, headed by a former Turkish Grey Wolf associate, is set to make a splash for catering to the Muslim demographic. And here comes a Danish far-right politician to incite riots and mayhem. And who do you think will benefit in the polls from this travesty?

How is this not considered foreign interference in a sovereign election process? Would it have been clearer cut in the foreign politician would have been a Brit? An American? A Russian? A Turk? A Saudi? A Chinese communist? Is it just because Paludan is Danish, a neighbourly Scandinavian, that we do not consider him foreign enough to constitute foreign interference? Is it his dual citizenship that makes us turn a blind eye to the fact that he’s a foreign politician?

The freedom of expression, of speech and writing, is paramount in Swedish society. But that’s not what Paludan has been doing. He hasn’t expressed himself. He has incited insurrection. Violent, pathetic, short-lived insurrection, but insurrection none the less. The only difference between his antics and the Orange Hydra’s January 6th speech and instigation of the Capitol assault, is that his wasn’t directed to followers but opponents, and that he never targetted the Swedish parliament, but Swedish residential areas.

Constitutional freedoms are important to a society. They aught be fundamentals that broker no exceptions. Because exceptions weaken those freedoms, like holes in a ladle. With enough of them, the freedoms become irrelevant. And isn’t it just too frustrating when those freedoms that we so enjoy and value are defiled, twisted and turned into becoming a weapon against themselves. Because the moment we eject racist pricks like Paludan from the country because he’s exercising those rights, we chip away at a piece of them.

Maybe that’s just the backside of the double-edged sword he wields. If we let him spout his hateful rhetoric, we pave the way for delinquents and criminals to run wild in the streets, and he wins his argument by proving that his hate is justified. If we stop him, we erode our own principles for the sake of hindering a foreign politician to damage our principles. Either way, we’re harmed by a simple bigot. Check and mate.

That is, of course, if we weren’t idiots. If only we didn’t rise to his provocations. If we didn’t believe the self-fulfilling prophecy of an evil oracle. But, as it turns out, asking people not be dumbasses is itself as dumb as destroying public property at the burning of a piece of literature.

/Sebastian Lindberg 19/4-2022

A Driver’s Tantrum

France is standing still. Guesstimates number the protesters, dubbed the ‘Gilets Jaunes’ for their yellow vestments, in the hundreds of thousands. All having been rallied through the great imbecile networks of social media for one singular purpose: To protest the rise in petrol and diesel taxes.

As of Sunday, over two hundred people have been injured. One protester was even killed on Saturday, following a driver panicking as protesters swarmed her car. Coming on a hundred people have been arrested.

No one protests quite like the French, do they?

Aside from French malcontent, I’ve had this conversation before. People complaining every time they drive past a petrol station. Lamenting that back in their day, or their parents’ day, prices were reasonable. And even accounting for the cost of living adjustment, they’re right. Taxes were much lower when we didn’t have an ecological Sword of Damocles above our heads. But now we do. But complaints are never levied against the situation at hand, or our own implicit guilt in creating it, but rather at the taxmen; the politicians that in a rare moment of clarity have imposed the imposition upon mere mortals. Upon ordinary folk in rural areas, just trying to get from house to job.

When these fossil fuel dependent people are called upon to include the environment in their reflections, one type of response repeats: “But what else am I to do? How else am I to live, to work, to thrive? Am I to relinquish my freedom of movement simply because the sky is choking?”

When we map greenhouse gas emissions, we can conclude that over a quarter of them come from the transportation sector. Out of which over half comes from personal vehicles and light-duty trucks. This has been true for years. Decades even. Showing no sign of change.

And yet these malignant organisms think it unfair to raise the prices of their malevolent habits of cooking dinosaur-carcasses in our shared environment.

Time and time again it has been proven that the only way to shift a population’s behaviour is to incentivise change. Either by the carrot or by the stick. Preferably both. But you can never trust the droning masses to change their habits simply by asking if they kindly would. Not even in the face of looming and publicized disaster can they manage the change necessary for continued survival. For when you grant the broad population the choice between comfortable habit and radical change, they will chose comfortable habit every time.

So, are these countryfolk and Yellow Vests just simply wrong? Entitled and stubborn? Unenlightened and regressive? Some; surely. Most; maybe. All; no. For even though the rise in petrol and diesel prices is a justified Stick, what’s lacking is a Carrot. Options and alternatives need to be provided. And they’re quite simply not being offered in any feasible regard. It is not reasonable to ask people to bike forty kilometres to work every day. Public transportation is more often than not a poor joke in rural areas. And ignoring the valid environmental criticisms of ”green” car options, such as the controversial Tesla for example, even those aren’t realistic due to either price, range, or availability.

But make no mistake: That does not mean that the price hike for fossil fuels is wrong. It only means more needs to be done. That more change is required. Not less.

So, what’s a country resident to do? What if living outside of urban areas becomes prohibitively expensive? Would that be fair? No, maybe it wouldn’t. But maybe your rural carbon footprint is just as inexcusable as the rest of them. Maybe your right to live where you please, in a place where you can actually see the lit night sky in lieu of light pollution, isn’t a privilege that stands higher than our need to reign in our wanton putrefaction of our habitat. Maybe, if you don’t have the means to be clean about it, you shouldn’t consider it your right to set up shop in whatever remote corner you please.

Because whining about a necessary Stick, because closing down countries with your childish temper tantrums, only paints you as a spoilt villain and an enemy to sustainability.

/Sebastian Lindberg 19/11-2018

The Adventures of Fred & Carl, Episode 2: Aggravated Littering

Foreboding stillness gripped their souls. The kind of quiet that isn’t heard with ears, but felt with hearts. The kind of quiet that can turn you into stone, if you’re not careful enough. Patches of filthy snow spotted the streets. Empty streets where only a garbage truck dared to tread-”

Carl…”

Yeah?”

I can’t believe I have to keep telling you this.”

Telling me what?”

To shut the fuck up, Carl.”

Oh, don’t worry, Fred. I know you just love saying it.”

Shut the fuck up, Carl. And that’s not snow, by the way.”

Not snow? Are you quite certain?”

Eh-yup.”

It looks like snow though…”

Maybe. But it ain’t.”

Well, then?”

Well then what?!”

What is it?”

It’s ash, Carl.”

Ash?!”

The carbon remains after an exothermic reaction: Ash.”

But… how can there be ash here? It’s in the middle of the road! In the middle of the city!”

Yeah, well, the local denizens have been setting fires for almost seven hours straight. Cars, sheds. Anything that’s mildly flammable.”

Why would anyone do that?”

Oh, I don’t know, Carl! Maybe they’re disillusioned with the current sociopolitical status quo! Maybe they’re being ignored by their local governance! Maybe they’re sick of only serving as a cautionary tale to scare the middle class. Maybe they’ve been told, since infancy, that they were supposed to get a spouse, a rewarding career, a house and sports car by the time they turned twenty five, and when they get old enough to realize that it’s all an unrealistic delusion, they get mad! Maybe I don’t fucking know, Carl! Maybe I’m not a fucking political analyst from a major news channel or a venture capitalist sponsored think tank!”

Geez, Fred… you don’t have to bite my head off. You could just have shrugged and said that you didn’t know, y’know…”

It just fucking pisses me off.”

What? Me asking?”

Yes!”

Wait! What was that sound, Fred?”

Probably some little shit throwing a bottle or stone at the side of the truck…”

Why would they do that, Fred?!”

Did you just ask me the same provocative question again, you moronic spunk-turd?!”

No, yes, well… why are they throwing rocks at us? We’re not the local government or the sociopolitical status quo… or even broken promises. We’re just here to take away their garbage…”

Doesn’t matter to these wee shits, Carl. They don’t give a fuck who they attack.”

Oh… yeah, I guess when all you can do is lash out, it doesn’t matter who you do it too…”

Are you fucking serious?!”

Well, think about it. We are the only people marginally related to whoever they’re angry at-”

As if that’s a legitimate excuse!”

No, but we repres-”

Have you ever made these ass-gnats any promises?”

No, but-”

Have you ever imposed sanctions, unemployment or sub-par education on these troglodytes?!”

 “Well, no, but-”

Well, neither have I!”

But, Fred, to these people we represent-”

 “Fuck you, Carl! I don’t represent a god damned thing other than just another cog in the tax factory, trying to keep my wife happy and to stave off starvation for another few weeks. I will not accept responsibility for some foreskin-fuckoff at city hall.”

Well, Fred. It just so happens that these people can’t reach city hall with their rocks and bottles. So they have to settle for you and I and our truck.”

Yeah? And the cops and the ambulance drivers and the firemen too. Isn’t it profoundly stupid to demonstrate your lack of public service by attacking your public services.”

A government should be afraid of it’s people. Not the other way-”

Oh, shut the fuck up, Carl! Don’t you spurt that three hundred old renaissance bullshit in my god damned face! The government has no reason to be afraid of these fucking lice…”

Didn’t you just… pass a pick-up point where five hooded kids were hanging out?”

How many fucking times do I have to tell you? I’m not the god damned government! I can be however fucking frightened I want to be. That’s my fucking prerogative!”

But we work for it, Fred…”

Tangentially!”

Here’s another pick-up, Fred. Let’s just stop and show these people that we will still do our job and make their lives at least a little easier…”

Suit your self! I’m not setting a fucking foot outside.”

Salutations, friends! I’ve come to relieve you of your garbage-”

Fucking idiot is going to get himself killed. In five… four… three… two…-”

Drive, Fred!”

Oh, hello Carl. How did you enjoy your lower class safari?”

Freeed… let’s go, Fred…”

Are you sure about that, Carl? Are you sure that you want to drive away from your societal responsibility to relieve these fucking cretins from their garbage?”

Fred, this isn’t funny… drive the truck! Oh my god, was that a deceased feline they threw at the window?!”

But Carl! They’re only expressing their dissatisfaction with the neglect from the local government…”

Fred! Just go, pleeeease!”

You’re a fucking moron, Carl. Never forget it.”

What do you think is going to happen here, Fred?”

Same fucking thing that always happens when an unarmed population engages in violence against their, very much armed, government. Sooner or later, the state won’t be able to ignore these shits any longer, and then people will die in a bloody spectacle while the cameras are off on coffee break.”

That’s… sad.”

Yeah, well, it’s the world we forged. The bed we’ve made. Suck it the fuck up.”

It shouldn’t be. We should have a choice in how we’re treated. What prospects we can achieve. What dreams we can accomplish. And if door after door is slammed in our faces, should not mankind have the right and power to rip through those doors. Take them off their hinges. No status quo should ever be allowed to tell any person what they can and cannot do. If society has become so rigid that it takes violent revolution to accomplish your goals, is it not our responsibility to tear down these walls? These wretched ramparts, built out of cardboard, seemingly mountainous from the outside. Should we not billow forth and wash over these windmill walls like a great tide of change-”

Carl”?

Don’t you agree, Fred?”

Shut the fuck up, Carl.”

But don’t you agree?!”

You know what, Carl? Fuck this. I’m not being paid enough to be attacked on the street. I’m going back to the depot…”

What?! We can’t just leave!”

Fuck you, Carl! You just fucking watch me! I’m not risking my life for a ten-pack of empty pizza cartons by the side of the road! Life is too fucking cheap already. I won’t drive the price of it down further with my ignoble end…”

/Sebastian Lindberg 25/4-2017